Note: This guide will explain the divorce process, but the forms referred to here are available only in the print edition. For ordering information, visit the LSNJ.org publications page, e-mail publications@lsnj.org, or contact Legal Services of New Jersey at 732-572-9100.
Topics
How to Use This Manual
The suggestions below for using this manual will help you to decide whether you can handle the divorce on your own. If you decide to hire a lawyer, you will be clearer about what you want and more organized, which will save you and your lawyer time. See Getting Legal Advice for a review of when you should seek legal assistance.
Top of page
Read the Manual Carefully
Read the manual and examine the forms. Take notes while you are reading and write down any questions that come to mind. Some of your questions may be answered in this manual. You may want to ask a lawyer other questions. Make sure that you understand the information and the instructions for using the forms.
Top of page
Step 1: Gather Information and Records
After you have read the manual, you should gather together all of the documents that you will need to prepare your divorce papers. Then review the blank forms and use the ones that pertain to your situation. Before you begin to fill out the forms, we recommend that you make at least three copies of the blank forms so that you always have a clean copy to begin again if you make a mistake. Your finished forms must be 8 ½ x 11 inches and have straight edges. You will need all or most of the following documents and information for your divorce:
Top of page
Any Court Orders Between You and Your Spouse Related to the Marriage. For example:
- Child support orders.
- Custody and parenting time/visitation orders.
- Name change orders.
- Domestic violence restraining orders and papers related to the domestic violence order, such as police or hospital reports.
Top of page
Financial Information. This includes:
- Tax returns.
- Pay stubs and other proof of income (SSI, SSDI, child support).
- List of bank accounts and copies of recent bank statements.
- Stocks, bonds, IRAs, and other financial assets.
- List of monthly expenses.
- Documents showing any debts, including credit card statements and loans.
- Copies of monthly bills.
- Leases or deeds to real property.
- Mortgage documents.
- Automobile titles (ownership documents).
- Automobile loan documents.
- Insurance policies—health, dental, life, automobile, homeowners, or rental.
- Pension plans and retirement accounts.
- Wills.
- Receipts for bills for personal injury caused by your spouse.
- Receipts for bills for property damage caused by your spouse.
- Receipts or other documents demonstrating that you are receiving public benefits, including welfare, rental assistance, or SSI for yourself or your children.
Top of page
Other Documents. You may also need copies of:
- Your marriage certificate.
- Children’s birth certificates.
- Children’s Social Security numbers.
Make copies of these documents, and keep the original documents in a safe place. When you go to court for your divorce hearing, you may need to show the court some of these documents.
You will also need to have the following items as you move along in the divorce process:
- A calendar for record keeping. This is very important because there will be dates and deadlines that you will have to track.
- Certified mail forms with return receipt cards. Court rules require that some documents be sent by certified mail with a return receipt. Certified mail is a special mail service that provides proof of mailing at the time of mailing and date of delivery. The return receipt, which is signed by the recipient of the mail and sent back to you, provides information about the actual delivery of the mail. This return receipt will be part of your records and may have to be attached to certain documents. We recommend that, as part of your planning, you go to the post office and pick up several certified mail forms and return receipt cards. You should also get information about the cost of sending certified mail with a request for a return receipt so that you can plan for the mailing costs, which may be more than $3 each.
Top of page
Step 2: Decide What You Want From the Divorce
This is an important step. Think very carefully about what you want to ask for in your divorce. Remember: The law requires that you raise all legal issues that you have against your spouse in your divorce complaint. Before you fill out the complaint forms, you need to decide what other relief you want in addition to having the court end your marriage. Looking at the information about your and your spouse’s finances and property will help you decide what to ask for in your divorce. Below are things that you might ask for in your divorce complaint. They are explained in more detail in Chapter 1: Preparing and Filing the Divorce Complaint.
Top of page
Alimony/Spousal Support. Alimony, also called spousal support, is money paid by one spouse to support the other spouse once the marriage has ended. Do you want to ask for alimony? If you are receiving public benefits and then begin to receive alimony, how will this affect your eligibility for those public benefits?
Top of page
Division of Real Property. Real property refers to a house, a building, or a parcel of land. If you own your home, how do you want to divide it? Do you want your home sold immediately? Do you want to continue living in the home and, if so, for how long? If you are receiving public benefits, will this affect your eligibility for those public benefits?
Top of page
Division of Personal Property. What will you do with personal property—cars, appliances, TV sets, sound equipment, jewelry, expensive tools, furniture, etc.?
Top of page
Division of Debts. Who will be responsible for outstanding debts? This includes credit cards, loans, mortgages, car payments, outstanding rent and utility bills, etc.
Top of page
Taking Back Your Former Name or Changing Your Name. Would you like to use another name? You may request this relief in your divorce complaint.
Top of page
Insurance Policies and Premiums. Who will pay health, homeowners, or life insurance premiums? It is most likely that you will not be eligible for coverage on your spouse’s health insurance policy once you are divorced.
Top of page
Money Damages for Personal Injury. Have you been injured by your spouse? Has he or she damaged any property? If you are receiving public benefits (TANF, GA, EA, food stamps, Medicaid, SSI, etc.) and you receive money damages in the form of a personal injury award, how will this affect your eligibility for those public benefits?
Top of page
Child Custody. With whom will the children live?
Top of page
Parenting Time/Visitation. How often will visits take place? Where? What about holidays and vacations? Is supervised visitation necessary?
Top of page
Child Support. If the children are remaining in your custody, how much child support should your spouse pay you? Will you need help with medical or dental expenses for your children? Who will provide health and dental insurance for the children? If you are receiving public benefits and you begin to receive child support, will this affect your eligibility for those public benefits or the amount of benefits that you receive?
Top of page
Step 3: Prepare and Review Your Forms
There are different types of divorce claims. You may claim a specific reason or cause for your divorce. Or you may file a no-fault divorce and simply claim that the reason you want a divorce is that you and your spouse have experienced irreconcilable differences for six months or more or have been living separately for at least 18 months and there is no possibility of getting back together.
Once you know what kind of divorce you want and what kind of relief you want, you are ready to begin filling out the forms in this manual. We suggest that you make at least three copies of the blank forms so that you always have a clean copy to begin again if you make a mistake. The forms also can be completed on a typewriter. If necessary, you may fill them in by hand, but you must print clearly.
Proofread all of your forms carefully for accuracy. When you file papers with the court, you are giving your word that your statements are true and accurate. It is against the law to lie to the court. Remember that the law requires you to raise all legal issues that you have against your spouse and to ask for everything you want from your spouse in your divorce complaint. You will not be able to ask the judge at your divorce hearing for anything that you do not ask for in your divorce complaint, and you will not be able to bring a future lawsuit for things you do not put in your complaint. So check your complaint carefully before you file it with the court, to make sure that everything you want is contained in the complaint.
Top of page
Time Requirements and Deadlines. You will need a calendar to keep track of many time requirements and deadlines. Pay attention to the deadlines, and always keep your case moving forward. Missing deadlines can have serious consequences. For example, the court can dismiss your case if you do not serve the defendant (give him or her a copy of your divorce complaint) within a certain time frame or if your reasons for not serving the defendant are not convincing. It is important to document all of your efforts to serve the defendant.
Top of page
Other Suggestions
Before you file your papers with the court, you may want to see a lawyer for legal advice. (See A Word of Caution about Using this Manual, and Getting Legal Advice, where we strongly recommend that you talk to a lawyer in some specific circumstances. Please refer back to those pages now.)
Once you are satisfied that you understand what you may be entitled to in your divorce and how a divorce may affect any public benefits that you are receiving, you are ready to prepare and file your papers.
Where to File Your Divorce contains the addresses and telephone numbers of each county courthouse where you are required to file your divorce complaint.
Top of page |
